Forever and always If that's possible
by IzzyD07
Summary: Brittana. Santana's POV. Rated T to be cautious.
1. Chapter 1

_I struggle in water, okay? I always feel like I'm being thrown in at the deep end. I struggle a bit, try and grab the water but it keeps slipping through my fingers. People think I'm doggy-paddling but the truth is, I'm struggling. And sometimes, I get weak, and I give up. So much is expected of me, and sometimes I crack, and I get weak. Sometimes I feel like drowning is the best option._

It all started in the first year of high school, in Spanish class. Spanish class was the only class I was actually excited about. I'm a latino chick through and through. Except I didn't really know Spanish. My parents spoke it to my family when we'd visit them, but that was a long time ago; the days when we used to go on holiday. My dad's a doctor and my mum works for a big shot law firm, so they don't spend much time at home anymore. So anyway, I was in Spanish class. Then some fat girl came and sat down next to me. Not being rude or anything, but I didn't really fancy talking to her. So I looked to my left. And there she was.

"Hey!" said the girl next to me. "My name's Brittany! What's yours?"

I laughed. I could already tell that she was your typical dumb blonde. She seemed really over eager to meet me, so I thought I'd pleasure her. It would be better than talking to the fat girl.

"I'm Santana." I said bluntly.

"Hey Santana!" she replied, "I'm super excited to meet you! Hey, could you help me with this whole Spanish thing? I'm already confused, and you look like you know what you're doing. What does 'Hola' mean?"

I mean, come on. But she'd got on my good side already. I may not seem like it, but I'm pretty proud of my heritage. One day I'm going to go live with my cousins down in South America. They have a super cool house with a swimming pool in the yard and everything.

It turned out me and Brittany had a lot of classes together. We also joined the Cheerios. Coach Sylvester seemed pretty impressed with Brittany's aerobics and she said I made it all look pretty, so she'd always pair us up and put us at the front. Us and the head cheerleader, Quinn Fabray. Quinn could be a bit of a bitch sometimes, but I guess she was okay. All this led up to me and Brittany spending a lot of time together. I tried to make other friends but... I'm not so good at that. I always come across really harsh, even though I don't mean to. Brittany, on the other hand, seemed to be friends with everyone. She enchanted them with her stories about rainbows and cats, and whenever we'd walk down the hall in between classes you could guarantee someone would wave at her. At first I thought it was kind of weird, but after a while, people began to notice me more. Some boys even whistled when I walked by. If it meant I had to walk down the hall listening to crap about fluffy bunnies, then that was fine by me. Not that I minded, really. I liked Brittany. She didn't seem to have a care in the world; something I really admired in her. So I decided to invite her round to my place.

"Your bed is super cool!" Brittany exclaimed as she threw herself onto my double bed that was covered in red pillows and blankets. "It's bouncy as well!"

"Careful with that Brittany, I don't want you busting my bed up. You may be on the Cheerios but that doesn't necessarily mean you're as light as a feather."

"I'm sorry..." Brittany backed away, looking scared and confused. "I didn't mean to hurt it... or, or you..."

"Hey, don't worry about it! I was just saying." I wondered what was bothering her so much. I decided a swift change of subject was in order. "So, you wanna get started on the Spanish crap?"

"We had Spanish homework?"

"Yeah, remember. I made you write it down in your diary."

Brittany's confused expression turned into a grin and she bounced over the bed to come and sit with me on the floor. And that was when it happened.


	2. Chapter 2

I say something happened. It didn't exactly _happen_, as such. Brittany leaned over me to try and reach for a coloured pencil, but whilst she was deciding what colour to take, her hand slipped and she fell onto my knees. The moment her gentle face touched my bare thighs, I felt a connection. Everything went into slow motion, you know, like in the movies. I looked down and her hair had spread out to cover my legs, a bit like a ray of sunshine. She got up quickly, and looked me in the eye to apologise, but by then I was completely lost. Her eyes were bright blue, and they practically screamed happiness. It was like seeing a baby laugh. Except Brittany wasn't a baby, and she wasn't laughing. But she had this sort of magic about her, a naivety that made her so special...

"Santana? Santana?" I heard Brittany's voice like it was far in the distance.

"Yes Britt?" I replied as quickly as I could.

"Britt? Huh, that's an awesome name. Nobody's ever called me Britt before."

I grinned uncontrollably. It was the start of the best friendship I'd ever have.

Me and Britt started to go everywhere together. We even got into this habit of linking pinky fingers as we'd walk down the hallways. We made good friends with Quinn Fabray, too. By now she was dating the Quarter Back, Finn Hudson. He was kind of hunky, I guess, but I'd never go for it. Quinn was really religious, she went to church or something, and she set up this celibacy club. I totally wasn't into that kind of thing, I mean, I gotta get mine, right? Soon, all the Cheerios and jocks were going. It became like a regular thing - they'd split up the genders for the first half an hour, and then rejoin again for the last half. Sounded like a whole bunch of crap to me, but Brittany didn't think so. All her other friends had joined the club and I thought she was feeling a bit left out. I told her to join once or twice, but she'd always put on this act, like she wasn't interested. So as a birthday present one year, I gave her a special present.

"Hey Britt, happy birthday!"

Brittany swerved and threw her hands around my neck.

"Santana! You remembered!" The tone of surprise in her voice was hilarious. It was almost as if she expected me to forget her birthday. She danced down the hall, and I ran and grabbed her wrist to stop her. She kind of looked like an idiot, so I distracted her.

"I got you a little present..." I began. "Well, it's not much of a present. To be honest, I was kind of busy this weekend and so I didn't get a chance to buy you anything. But I thought, as a treat, you could join the celibacy club. With me."

Brittany's eyes lit up like she'd just walked into Narnia or something.

"Oh my gosh SAN! That would be AWESOME! We're going to have so much fun together!" She gave me one last hug before she turned into another hallway to class. We had maths. I hated maths. And not just because I didn't get the algebra and stuff. It was the only class I had without Brittany (she was in a lower set because, well let's face it, she isn't the brightest button in the box...) and it started to get a bit lonely. At the end of the day though we'd have celibacy club, and although I didn't like it, it would be one extra hour that I could hang out with Brittany for, and I couldn't be bothered to go home alone.

"Celibacy club was so much fun, don't you agree San?"

"Whatever Britt, whatever..."

"What does celibacy actually mean? And why does Quinn keep talking about the angels crying? Are they upset?"

Okay, so she's little dim, I get that. But I think it's sweet. I'd always just laugh off these silly remarks, leaving Brittany's face dumbfounded, which would cause me to laugh even more and eventually to cause Britt to join in with me. We'd spend our walks home in absolute fits of laughter! I'd always drop Brittany home first though, because I was always slightly nervous that she didn't actually know her way home. It was slightly out of my way but hey, I had to keep this body up! Boys don't hit on me for nothing you know. I got the body, the chest, and the latino vibe. Boys dig that, especially Noah Puckerman. I'd seen him checking me out a good few times in the hall. I'd totally go for that, except... I was just, busy.

Time flew by and before I knew it we were celebrating Brittany's birthday again. We'd known each other for about a year and a half, and by now, we were inseparable. We hung out with Quinn a lot more as well, seeing as she was the head cheerleader and we did spend most of our time at Cheerios practice. In fact, that was around the time we got called in to Coach Sylvester's office. She started lecturing us about 'Glee Club'...

"Ladies, I need you three to be my spies, my moles, my double agents." Coach Sylvester said with such determination that it scared poor Brittany out of her wits.

"So let me get this straight", replied Quinn, "You want us to join this Glee Club and then... destroy it?" Brittany and I looked nervously at each other.

"What is Glee Club?" I tapped Brittany reassuringly on the arm. To be honest, this sounded like a big load of freakin' crap. But hey, that was Coach for you. In the end, we all agreed. Quinn was concerned about her boyfriend's evident crush on Rachel, the girl who you could only describe as the worst dressed in the whole school, and she'd convinced herself that by joining the club she would be able to win him back. Brittany and I just joined because, well, I'm not really that sure... We spend long hours after Cheerios practice in the gym trying to perfect the choreography and the tune. I have to say, Britt can move! I mean I've seen her at Cheerios practice but I never realised just how nicely she can move her hips! And the way she...

So we got into Glee Club. It was never going to be hard. Pretty much everyone in that room was a loser. Except for maybe Finn Hudson. He was pretty cool. I don't mean to judge or anything, but I would never speak to these people in my life outside of Glee. As far as I'm concerned, they have no life. And Rachel is incredibly annoying, she just doesn't stop talking. Ever. I mean seriously.

That night I slept over at Britt's house. It was a friday and her parents weren't around. It was just us, and Brittany's cat, Charity. It was awesome. We watched this cool movie whilst under the covers of her double bed. It was a bit squashy, but we didn't mind. It was cosy. It got to the climax scene of the film and Britt got scared and she grabbed my arm and squeezed it tight. A rush of emotions overwhelmed me, and for a moment I wasn't quite sure what was going on. It was a strange feeling, something I'd never experience before. I felt _needed._ I felt like Brittany _needed _me. And I needed her. I put my arm around her and gently stroked her delicate blonde hair, and she looked at me and smiled with such happiness that my heart began to melt. What was this? What was I doing? Everyone at school knew me as the badass latino chick, the hot girl off the Cheerios, the girl that they got off with in the janitor's closet. So why did I lean in and kiss Brittany with the passion that I did?


	3. Chapter 3

When Brittany's lips touched mine, it was like... music. We were making music. Our bodies connected to form a perfect harmony, our legs weaving chords in and out of each other, our hearts beating the rhythm in unison. Everything around me was a blur; all I could sense was the soft touch of Brittany's left cheek as she continued to kiss me gently. I didn't want to stop. I'd done this a million times before but for some reason this was completely different. It was almost as if...

Brittany jerked away. Oh shit, I thought, what have I done?

"Britt..." I whispered.

"Yeah?" she replied, with not even a hint of uneasiness in her tone.

"Erm, about that..."

"I like your sweet lady kisses, Santana."

Oh crap, bugger, shit. What had I done? Brittany was a female. I didn't date females. I was completely, one hundred percent, straight. So I grabbed my coat and ran. I ran as fast as I think I ever had, down the huge stretch that separated mine and Brittany's houses, breathing rapidly until I reached my front door, at which point I turned the key and sped up the stairs to my room. I had no idea what to think.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Brittany came up to my locker a few days later.

I slammed the locker door shut, turned around, and walked away. She followed closely behind. "What have I done?"

"Nothing, so leave me alone." I snapped back at her.

"Is this because of the bird I put in your locker?" She questioned again. That was her? I'd assumed it'd been some dumbass football player.

"Look, Brittany. I don't want to talk about this right now." My back was still turned.

"But what is it Santana? I want to know what it is!"

I turned around to shout, but the desperation and confusion in her eyes stopped me. It was like trying to be angry with a puppy. I gave in. "Meet me at my house, tonight. My parents are away and we need to talk. Don't be late."

I waited nervously on the edge of my bed, scared to hear the noise of the doorbell. I didn't know what I was going to say to Brittany. She really had no clue what happened. She seemed so confused... I jumped. The doorbell had rung. Several times, actually. Brittany liked to make cool rhythms up with the 'dong' sound, it was cute... and slightly odd.

"Hey San!" she exclaimed and grabbed my waist as she flew across the landing towards the stairs. She was such a free-spirited girl. I wondered how she managed it. How anyone could manage to be so happy in this world. I trudged across the landing and up the stairs to join Brittany in my room. And I prayed, prayed to the good Lord that something good would come of this.

I enjoyed school after that. Ever since Quinn Fabray had gotten herself knocked up, I was head cheerleader. People respected me more than ever, and if they didn't, then I'd show them who was boss. So what if I acted kind of bitchy? High school is like the wild. You are the predator and you've got to do anything and everything to stay at the top of the food chain. And yeah, there was Glee club. I didn't like to admit it, because then I'd totally have to go and live in Loserville, but I kind of liked it. I mean, it was okay. Sometimes it was a bit lame, and Rachel really got on my nerves because she was just constantly shrieking, but apart from that it was pretty good. Quinn loved it because it gave her something to do while she was carrying Puck's baby. I made a big fuss over that because I'd done the dirty with Puck several times and I'd kind of always figured that if he wanted any he'd come to me first. And so I went all mean on him and Quinn, which was kind of understandable. I didn't _actually _care. I had other things to be thinking about. Of course, Brittany loved Glee. Partly because Quinn did, and partly because she loved to dance. Ever since I'd first met her, Brittany always had a pair of dancing shoes in her bag, ready to put on and tap the night away. She once mentioned that her mother was a dancer and so from a young age she'd been put into all sorts of lessons, which made sense. She was pretty damn good. And very flexible. Of course, I knew that without having to see her dancing...

Life went on as usual. I'd see Brittany all the time, by then we were inseparable. Our lockers were next to each other's, we shared all the same classes and of course we had Glee. Often, about three times a week, we'd see each other after school. We did the normal stuff, stuff that girls do. Brittany always had something to talk about, usually cat related, but I didn't mind listening to her. She listened to me too, when I had any problems. I knew the outside world saw me as a heartless bitch, but I didn't care, because I knew Brittany didn't. And that was what scared me more than anything in the world.


End file.
